The Wrong State of Mind
Lots of guys like to think of the attraction game as one in which you play the hunter, finding prey, analyzing your shot, and taking it.
Oh god no.
Good for Gumption, but.
Listen, this isn’t a bad mind set for someone just starting out – someone who doesn’t yet have the confidence to talk in a normal fashion to women. It’s a great way to psych yourself up for an encounter, and imagine yourself in a position of power so you can go forward confidently.
And if you get cold sweats just at the sight of a beautiful woman, then this isn’t a bad way to go about things. If you don’t have enought confidence to takl with women, use one of online chat rooms like incontrissimi, lovepedia, nirvam…
BUT, you DON’T want to get stuck in this way of thinking. It helps you approach, but it actually HURTS you in almost every other area of attraction.
Let’s talk about this.
War? What is it good for?
You DON’T want a battle mode, an us vs. them mentality that has you playing out war games in your head.
Why? Because no matter how careful you are, that attitude is going to translate. She may not know what it is, but she’ll know something isn’t quite right when she’s talking to you.
She may feel objectified, or on the defensive. You create a pursuit, and guess what her role in the pursuit is? That’s right – to run away. If you’re coming at her – and ESPECIALLY if you come at her head on – she’s going to flee.
At best, she’ll sense an ulterior motive and be wary. At worst she’ll just get the hell away from you.
Don’t Like Me!
You also don’t want her to like you. You heard me right. You’re just thinking about it wrong.
It’s fine if she enjoys you and your company. We want that. But you can’t WANT her to like you.
Once you’ve got that thought in your head, you’re going to start down a very bad path. You’re going to start being scared she WON’T like you, and changing the way you behave accordingly. You’ll be scared of offending her, and in the end you’ll turn into a bland inoffensive boring nice guy. If she’s got any brains, she’ll probably think you’re being fake just to get in her pants.
You turn into a kiss-ass.
It’s fine if she likes you – but it’s also fine if she doesn’t, and you CAN’T change your behavior to try and gain her approval. She’s going to sense this on one level or another, and it’ll backfire.